Let's Talk About It!

#17, July 22, 2008

The second of the four essential coping skills for Staying Cool Under Pressure is communication. W. Edwards Deming is reported to have once said: "People will do anything rather than talk to each other."

When people are under pressure and feeling stressed, emotions are much closer to the surface. Everyone has their own tension tolerance level-the level above which their emotions take over and they feel the need to react. At this point in time, the person's productivity and effectiveness typically plunges to zero.

People who are strong in this coping skill of communication are more aware of their own tension tolerance level, and are therefore comfortable talking about their emotions and opinions when they feel their stress levels rising. As a result, they are more productive when stressful situations arise.

The alternative is to bottle it up...to keep your feelings and opinions to yourself. To not tell the other person you're not happy about what they are doing, or when you feel there is a better way of doing things. When people hold back they tend to "stew on it." It simmers away on the inside, and every moment they are thinking about it, they are not focused on giving their best performance.

Here are some simple steps I have used to help me be more effective at communication under pressure:

  1. Use the 24-hour rule. Give yourself 24 hours maximum to speak up about something you know you should talk about. The rule gives us a deadline, and it gives us time to think about how to say things right. You don't have to speak up immediately every time.
  2. Realize that what you allow, you teach! When you allow people to behave or speak in inappropriate ways, you teach them that it is ok to continue doing it.
  3. Refrain from judging people. Ask questions to make sure you fully understand the situation before sharing your thoughts and feelings
  4. Use the Giving Feedback Model described in Leadership Tip number 4 to tell people how you feel without being emotional or judgmental.
Communicating more openly and honestly is easier in a work environment where there is a high level of trust, and building trust is the topic of next week's tip - Trusting Relationships Increase Performance. If you are interested in measuring your own coping skills and how they impact on the stress you experience, click here.

Keep reading our Weekly Leadership Tips for ways you can create a work environment where all team members are engaged, committed to your organization, and passionate about doing a great job every time.

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© 2007 Keith Ayers. All rights reserved.

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